Ive dropped the abc diet cos personally i find it hard to fluctuate between 800 and 100 calories...i need something steady so im trying to take in 300 - 400 a day MAX! Aiming for 100 tomoro. Today was weird...my purging is gettin worse...purged three times :S i need to take control of my life but i will try harder!
Went jogging again today...it was gdd. I only stopped once and yday i stopped about 7 times :S  Ill go tomoro as well...theres something about sweating that feels so good :)

Also, i found a new way to deal with my cravings - brushing my teeth...the toothpaste taste stays in for a long time so nothing tastes gd...plus it keeps ur teeth clean :)
Good news - i had these pair of jeans i really like but they became too small for me...NOW THEY FIT :) I wore them out yday n it felt so gd. I have a wedding on the 23rd n i intend to fit into one of my old dresses by then...last time i fit into the dress was in october 2009. Also i realised ive lost a quarter of my target weight loss which is a real achievement for me ;) but i need the encouragement tbh. Cant wait till im no longer seen as the fat one in my family...it bloody hurts :) 

Weigh in...

I havent blogged for about two days now cos my eating flopped...binged once on saturday...3 times on sunday and urged each time....bad i know...
I think i lost control of my eating due to lack of motivation well i weighed myself today and i've lost 5lbs :D which i wasnt expecting so that motivated me ALOT and im back on track...
I went jogging today... after months and it was really hard but i felt really good after :)
Im feeling super motivated :)  aiming to lose 10lbs by April the 22nd (quite ambitious i know but keeps me motivated)
Im pretty much home alone for the next week so no ones watching over what i eat...im stocked up on pepsi max and jubbly ice lolly (20 calories each)

I CAN DO IT:D 

A crap day...

Todays been crap and ive been crap! From when i woke up...i didnt have much thinspo but the mistake i made was doing nothing about it...i should have found a way to thinspire myself but i didnt...as a results, i binged twice and purged twice...DISGUSTING I KNOO!!! Im a fat idiot without self-control...im damaging my body by eating and damaging it more by purging...

I gave into food...probably absorbed about 600 calories....so i can say goodbye to loosing 5 lbs this week...i think ill settle for 3! Foods a bitch...a manipulative one!

Tomorrow will be better + im thinking of buying oxyelite pro but i need to do some research on it :)

xxx

FML

My life sucks soo much, i just wanna die right now...i feel so shit...tempted to cut :S
Its so annoying when uve been working hard for something and put all ur sweat and heart and 10000% effort and u dnt get it :( (but theres still hope in my situation)
its jus soo discouraging! lifes too hard...i cnt take it anymore...all the uncertainties and pain!
regarding calories, cinema wasnt too bad...i jus took some popcorn ate a few n put some behind the chair :) n spat some into a can:)
my silly friends were takin the piss outta me cos i didnt wna have ice cream :( that got me pretty pissed off... n they dnt even know im on a diet...thank God i didnt tell them ;) theyll never understand...
Going to sleep now to runaway from life :/ I hope everyone (if anyones reading this) is having a better night than me!

Day three

half way through my day and ive had 150/300 calories...im nt really having any cravings so thats gd :)
Ive done my usual walking :) However theres a big challenge coming up - CINEMA!
Cinema = popcorn (my ultimate weakness) + pressure from friends to eat...eurghhhh!


Ive given myself a lil talk - don't give into food, all ill gain is 30 mins of indulgence + more fat and it means the effort of my past two days will be to waste so I WILL NOT GIVE IN!


In the cinema, ill try to sit next to the friend who'll pressure me the least to eat :) I can do this. I will not fail, im stronger than this :)




xxx

day two of abc...

Todays been okay, ive eaten 400 so far and walked off about 250.
I love my friends but theyre so f***ing annoying theyre always tryna make me eat...it makes my diet 100X harder.
I jus told my friend i was feeling fat n she started givin my a bloody lecture about how i should appreciate my body...how f***in annoying, considering im fat! they just dont understand me at all :S
I dnt wanna be fat anymore n im tryin to do something about it but my frnds jus make it harder :S
I need some pro-ana friends:)

Also, i got tempted to binge and purge today but i resisted the temptation so yaay me and i shall be going jogging soon :D






xxx

ABC Diet - day 1 review

Today was going so well, i walked for nearly an hour more than i usually do. Didnt really get any cravings until tonight when i got home to my favourite pizza.

I looked at it for ages, i was contemplating eating it and then purging it out but i wasnt supposed to purge anymore, its recently gotten really bad. So for anyone whos thinking of getting into the habit of purging....DON'T DO IT...worst decision ive ever made and now idk how to stop. So i decided ill take one bite but i couldnt control myself - i had half a pizza and purged it out straight away.

I hope this doesn't affect my weight loss. To top it all off i got told today that id gained weight...fml. as if i dnt feel shit enough about myself.

Soo sick and tired of being fat and i won't stop till im thin :)



Happy or sad, rich or poor, it's better being thin.

xxx

Thinspo

"Being thin and not eating are signs of true willpower and success"









Rihanna




Victoria Justice



Taylor Momsen



Scarlett Johansson


Leighton Meister



Blake Lively



Troian Bellisario



Rachel Bilson



Aly Michalka


Taylor Swift


Kendall Jenner


Cheryl Cole


Miley Cyrus


Cassie



Kim Kardashian



What's in your lips today is on your hips tomorrow

ABC Diet - day 1

Im starting the abc diet and im promising to exercise everyday.
I need to lose 12 - 14 lbs by april 22nd to fit into a dress./
Today im entitled to 300 calories, i will walk for an hour and jog early morning for half hour...wish me luck :)

*hunger hurts but starving works*

xxx